I’ve been looking for a lightweight jacket to wear in the Spring and the cooler days of Summer. Sure, I have three different colors of zipper hoodie, but those aren’t exactly classy. So I’ve been shopping around…

I don’t know why, but no department store seems to think that this is jacket weather. I go anywhere from Sears to JC Pennys to a goddamn Walmart and my options are either more hoodies or legitimate business business-attire blazers. Nothing in between. Nothing I want.

Well this past weekend, my girlfriend suggested we stop at an H&M in the mall, because she sometimes buys stuff there and there’s a Men’s section. So I say why not.

Sure, the crap is overly fancy, but they have a sale, so I decide to try a few things on…

Nothing in that goddamn store fits me! I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a heavy guy, but my gut isn’t even the issue. Every single one of their jackets, in any of their varying styles, refuse to fit over my shoulders. Seriously. If I actually put on anything in there, I could Hulk-burst out of it in a matter of seconds.

So this weekend I realized my shoulders are too broad to allow me to shop at an H&M. This is probably the only time I’ll ever feel good about not being able to fit into clothing.