Hey to who(m?)ever might be reading this. After weeks of not wanting to look at it, I feel—Read: my girlfriend tells me—it’s time to take another crack at my entrance essay for my first police background exam. Again, feel free to skip this in its entirety and move on with your life; this is basically just me thinking out loud.

~

Nearly four years ago, I entered college without a clear goal of what I wanted to do career-wise. I had vague notions of becoming a lawyer based off four years on my high school’s mock trial team, but I had no intention on following a political science track. After switching majors and recycling minors more than once, I am now a mere semester away from graduating with a degree in sociology and an extended minor in professional writing. Perhaps more importantly, I have been able use my time in college to determine what it is I want to do with my degree and, to a greater extent, my life: I wish to protect and serve.

Though it was a criminology course that initially piqued my interest in criminal justice, it was my various social theory courses that really inspired me to pursue law enforcement. The works of Emile Durkheim and Robert K. Merton, especially with regard to their focus on social anomie, have stressed to me the importance of law and order in society. I believe in the essential enforcement of rules both grand and small—from the incarceration of felons, to the written citation of minor traffic offenses—because it inarguably defines the norms and mores we as a people live by, providing the backbone of civilized life. This idea of preserving the integrity of the law is something I can fully devote myself to.

My major in sociology has encouraged me to pursue a career in law enforcement, and I feel my minor in professional writing has helped equip me to take on that task. From both my course load and a cumulative four years working as a research assistant, I have a wealth of experience writing and editing all manners of forms, reports, and essays. Though the latter may not relate to law enforcement, years of writing and editing non-fiction scholastic essays have certainly strengthened my resolve as an author, a skill that I can confidently say has carried over to my reports.

As stated previously, I have experience from my high school’s mock trial team. On dozens of occasions across all four years of high school, I tried cases in an actual court before actual judges in both the capacity of an attorney and a witness. I am well-versed in courtroom proceedings, and I would consider myself comfortable appearing and testifying in court before a judge.

To note, though I am in no way fluent, I have over five years education in Spanish and know more than enough to communicate with native Spanish speakers. I am currently working toward fluency with my last semester of college, and I plan to pursue learning the language more fully after graduation.

Inevitably, my aim with ANY DEPARTMENT [to be changed per essay] is to join Criminal Investigations. I find the work CI does fascinating, and I would appreciate the opportunity to become more fully involved in it. I believe my background as a researcher would help me to analyze a crime scene, and my experience acting as an attorney would help develop skills interviewing witnesses.

~

I think I need to better flesh out my introduction (one of those fancy thesis statements that lists what I plan to talk about), and I don’t really know what all to put for a conclusion, but this seems like an improvement from last time.

Thoughts?

Feel free to skip over this if you’d like. I’m trying to work out my thoughts for what I should put down as my goals essay for my very first background investigation.

~

I am pursuing a career as an officer because I believe in the laws that govern the order of our society. I believe in the criminal justice system. To protect citizens and serve a community, I wish to pursue justice without passing judgment.

I look forward to the chance to present testimony in court. Throughout all of high school, I was a lawyer on my school’s mock trial team. We competed with other local high schools in presenting fictitious cases before actual district and circuit court judges. For quite some time, I strongly considered pursuing a career in law, but I cannot see myself graduating from a 4-year program only to dive head first into years of further schooling. A bonus to a career in law enforcement would be the afforded opportunity to find myself back in a courtroom without a full law degree.

My education at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County is drawing to a close with an expected graduation date of May 2011. I am pursuing a major in sociology with an extended minor in professional writing. While neither of these fields seems to directly relate to a career in law enforcement, my background in sociology has provided me several opportunities the examine the structure of society, with a specific focus upon causes of crime and deviance. Further, my extended minor, coupled with my 2.5 years’ experience as a research assistant, has acclimated me greatly to the process of writing and filing reports of various types. I am no stranger to paperwork.

Inevitably, my goal with law enforcement is to be assigned to criminal investigations. I believe I have the potential to do good work as a detective. However, I fully recognize the need to pay my dues first as an officer, and I would greatly appreciate the chance to prove myself capable in such a capacity.

~

Damn, that’s rough. I definitely need to go over this again and hammer out a few of my rougher ideas. But it’ll have to do for tonight. The more I look at this essay, the more I find myself repeating the same ideas over and over. I will start anew tomorrow.

If her head had still been intact when I showed up, I’d say the broad is lying face-down. As it stands, anything resembling the face of the late Anne Connors burst like an overinflated tire the moment she wrapped her luscious lips around her husband’s service weapon and pulled the trigger. She’s sprawled out on her stomach with both of those blue-gray eyes staring up at the ceiling. Everything that made her a gorgeous 30-something, aged like a nice scotch, is peeled open all over supermarket floor. Well, everything save her tits, but that ample bosom is pressed firmly against the linoleum, and it’s not my place to flip her over and fuck up the scene for the lab geeks. Still, I don’t think them or the responding officer will have to do a lot of leg work to rule this one a suicide. She’s still got one manicured finger wrapped around the trigger.

A violent splattery halo of blood and brain matter surrounds the remnants of her face. It’s a shame, really, but at least she’ll never have to seriously worry about crow’s feet. Until the medical examiner arrives, it’ll be impossible to tell whether the jagged fragments of white in that vast pool of red and gray are teeth of bone shards. Her dark hair, once beautifully wavy, is little more than a torn wig on a broken mannequin. From her shoulders down to the small of her back, her summer dress—pale blue to offset her eye—is stained a deep red that will never wash out. She’s wearing black heels, and her feet are splayed at a funny angle, so even if someone threw a blanket over her, you couldn’t mistake Mrs. Connors for just sleeping.

 She hasn’t been here long, so that dead stench hasn’t had a chance to take hold. For now, all I can smell is the faint scent of Anne’s perfume—some sort of lilac—offset by the freezer burn smell of the vegetables in the broken refrigerator unit to her left. The crazy bitch offed herself in front of some frozen peas. After the bullet travelled through her skull, it shattered the glass display door of the fridge. Fuck knows where it finally lodged; I’ll leave that one to the lab geeks, too.

There’s a crowd gathered at either end of the aisle. Two uniforms have sectioned off either end of the aisle, and they’re ineffectively attempting to herd the gawkers elsewhere. “There’s nothing to see here, move along.” The stagnant pool of blood begs to differ.

The two uniforms are both rookies. They’d have to be to mistake my PI badge for a detective’s shield. I flashed it quick, and they didn’t ask questions. They’re bright-eyed and clean shaven. Neither one smells like whiskey, though past the time most folks get off work and start drinking. Happy hour. When I wore a badge, a real badge, this used to be the time when I’d usually take my first stiff shot of the night, but these boys seem to be doing things by the book. Even so, I don’t think either one of ‘em wants to spend too much time staring at the body. I don’t think they’ve turned around once since they taped the place.

The real investigators will show up soon, and if I’m still around, they’ll want to ask questions. I don’t really have anything to hide, but I’d rather not waste a few hours of my life in an interrogation room explaining why I knew the deceased’s name, or the color the bra she was wearing used to be before it soaked up all the shit that leaked out of her head.

 I snap some pictures, and I get the fuck out. While I’m leaving, I mutter something about filing a report to the rookies. They don’t stop me.